I've been wanting to write this post for a
long while now. When Rachel from
R&R Workshop asked if I'd be part of
her fun series, A Month of Disney, I knew just what I'd be posting...
Fun Lessons in Motherhood and Wifery from the One and Only Helen Parr/ Elastigirl!
You get teared up sometimes during your kids' cartoons, right? I know I'm goofy, but I sure do! And some of them are kinda dumb, which means I simply didn't get enough sleep the night before- ha!
But there are quite a few scenes from my favorite Disney Pixar movie, The Incredibles, that get me choked up or thoughtful for
good reason... all of them involving the awesome lady that holds the family together :) We're already super excited for Incredibles 2 next summer!
There could be lots more than I've written here even, but for today I've chosen
11 tips and scenes worth thinking about...
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1) Sometimes you just can't win. Maybe this one actually translates in to: "You're not the only one whose kids don't listen." We can coax and encourage and explain and even get downright terse. We can even grab shirt collars or hold back at the wrists, but sometimes... it's all for naught and we almost just have to stop and sit back for the main storm to pass. :) When it comes to my boys' wrestling, sometimes I sure wish my arms stretched like that!
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Source: Living in Cinema
2) Don't talk down to your kids. Talk to them like real people, capable of understanding and seeing the bigger picture. It would've been easy for Helen to smooth the whole "hide your super powers" thing over to her kids and paint things all rosy. But, no, she shared their frustration verbally and gave them the compliment of knowing that they knew the reasons why life had to be the way it was to begin with in the movie. I love that Helen never comes close to baby talk or child like words with her older kids. :)
3) Regarding Husbands: There could be tons of tidbits of Helen Parr wisdom in this department, right? :) If he says NOT to answer the phone, absolutely answer the phone anyway. The "man cave" should NOT be a no-enter zone, ever. At the same time, he's gotta have his space, his "bowling night." Kiss him goodbye for real as he leaves in the morning. Make chocolate cake (or whatever else he'll love to devour). Communicate with real words and truth during arguments, don't just lose your head. Sometimes you just have to let it go... re-visit the topic later. Don't let him hide behind a lack of words, draw the important things out even if they're hard to say. Love conquers all :)
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4) Be at the Crossroads... Show Up for your Kids. That moment when she runs to the back of the plane just as it explodes and wraps herself around Dash and Violet? I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes every time. It's not, generally speaking, like that for us, of course, but I think there are certainly ways we can wrap ourselves around our own kids to avoid explosion. Do they know we'll be there when things are bad? Do they feel that we are the place to turn for things to be improved?
Awhile back, Cooper called from school because he'd been sent to the office over a scuffle at recess. He was crying and begged me to come and get him. I tried to calm him down and be loving, but told him that school was important and he needed to take a minute and then go back to class. And when I hung up, I wished I wouldn't have. I should have driven to that school, even if I was still undone for the day and given him a real hug and listened in person, maybe even brought him home where things were safe. I didn't show up for him in that moment. I showed him lesser things were more important that his emotions in hard moments... and I hope I can respond differently over time because I don't want to be the kind of Mom that doesn't wrap myself around my boys as things all around them explode.
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5) It's ok to ask a lot of your kids... as long as you are giving a lot right along with them. This little boat scene... creative genius, eh? :) And, I just love that neat moment when they both crawl onto the beach, totally worn out. Mom was asking a lot of Dash- she was needing him to give his all toward something good. But she wasn't just pointing and telling, she was showing and doing along with him. We can cause our kids to grow and polish most by stretching and polishing ourselves in the process... or maybe just get them to clean their rooms better when we're cleaning too ;)
6) Get a Grip! Mom has to be the grounding force in order for things to stay in tact it seems like. Mrs. Incredible freaks out really briefly for just a second, but otherwise, she holds it together for her family. I know my boys have seen me just break down and kinda fall apart a couple of times. And I wish I could change that! They need to be sure that I will not fall apart on them, that I can be their solid ground. This one is honestly easier said that done for me- I cry in moments that they need me not to, but I do really hope that it's something I'm always improving on.
7) Let them in on your weaknesses and struggles occasionally. Obviously, not always. I love how Mrs. Incredible opens up to Violet and Dash about her concerns over their Dad, clues them in on the little she knows. Yes, we have to be strong for them. But they also need to know that we're not super human, that we definitely have weaknesses, just like they do. :)
8) Build your kids up. I love how she tells Violet that she is stronger than she knows, even though she struggled and failed. Our kids are surrounded by negativity, peers thinking that bad is good and rude is cool. They need Mom to tell them that they are better than that, they it really is possible for them to rise above. It's highly possible that no one else is. I know I feel so lucky to be that influence for my boys :)
9) Remember Yourself. This moment above might be the only time Mrs. Incredible focuses on herself. Yes, yes, she's lamenting her adult figure, but none the less, this is a case in point that Mom has to stop and look in the mirror too. Whatever it is- a new pair of earrings, doing something different with your hair... do what it takes to remember
you too :)
10) Be Affectionate in Front of Your Kids. That scene where Mr. and Mrs. Incredible pause in the middle of the battles, look at each other and say, "I Love You" makes everything better for Violet and Dash. They were worried that something was wrong with Mom and Dad's marriage and in that moment, those concerns were eased. Making sure your kids see you physically connect helps reassure them that security exists. :)
11) Be Selfless. Carrying an RV while holding on to a rocket?! That's superhero power right there! And she did it because she was putting her family first. "Bob, throw me!" Another scene that gets me choked up... This mama is one selfless lady and
that, more than anything else, is what makes her so admirable. She has these amazing abilities, and she also has an amazing, selfless heart that solves things and gets things done... really, this is what makes motherhood so hard, and so wonderful, eh? :)
Thanks for humoring me :) Now go watch the movie again and get excited for the sequel next summer! :) Or maybe check out the
other great ideas from Rachel's Month of Disney here:
